Crossing The Line Into Secondary Infertility

We were lucky that our first was so easy to conceive and carry to term, so I cannot help but feel extra disappointed that I would be giving birth next month had it worked out again on the first cycle, but instead I find my empty womb…

So every time we embark on another cycle, that has so far always ended in tears, I try to take a moment to appreciate what I have—a beautiful and wonderful baby girl—before my dreams are crushed and I loose all hope, again, but it doesn’t take the pain away. Especially when it starts to affect your marriage, ugh.

At what point does it become secondary infertility?

They say you need to be actively trying for an entire year before you are considered potentially infertile rather than simply unlucky, less if you are geriatric (aka over 35, that is a depressing fact as it is!), as if one more cycle really determines your fate…

We have been having much difficulty conceiving a second child, and it has been really hard on me mentally. I want to keep trying, but there is only so much emotional mental capacity that I can handle and I don’t know if I take take another 3 months of this! (or if we want interventions—that’s a whole other conversation to be had!). So here’s hoping this next round works or I might need to take a break to mentally recover before we start trying again. Fingers crossed the warm weather around the corner will help!

What keeps you feeling positive without raising your hopes too high? Any tips for the rest of us?


stephanie de montigny SdeM handrawn initials ottawa blogger