We Unknowingly Gave Up On Our Marriage

I wasn’t completely oblivious—I kneeeew the pandemic had robbed me of so much, but it wasn’t until my husband and I shared our first happy moment in a long time that we both truly realized that it actually was our first happy moment in what felt like forever.

Apparently, all it took was trying to sell our house and being forced to drive around or take family walks to the park while people were visiting our home. We were driving to a showing of our own, and with our hilarious kid in the back singing off-key already having us in stitches, some random street sign got our attention and made us crack a joke and banter back and forth about it, somehow in fake voices, and we both just looked at each other and it clicked. When is the last time we actually laughed like that, let alone genuinely smiled at each other…?

boss mama life with a toddler and a full time job and a house that doesn’t clean itself

We were just recovering from a really hard first year as parents when the pandemic hit, and the last 18 months have been hell on me, on us. Forget the fact that I had to shut down my business for more than half of that time, forget the fact that that means my income was dramatically reduced (sever zero dollar months!), forget the fact that I was forced to become a stay-at-home-mom (something I never wanted to be) and went stir-crazy, forget the fact that I essentially lost my village and all of my friends (a handful of calls over a year fall flat in comparison to weekly hangouts)—I lost all will to put effort into anything; not my appearance, not my house, not my marriage, barely even my business at one point, and the only thing I did from day to day was keep my child alive and remotely happy. Now THAT is a tough pill to swallow!

So with this realization, we’ve made a pact to go out at least once a month and do something extra fun, even during the pandemic, even if it literally means just going for a picnic at the park to get out of the house as a family for an hour and enjoy each other’s company. Imagine how much more fun things will get once we can actually go somewhere and do something after the pandemic has subsided!? BRING. IT. ON!


stephanie de montigny SdeM handrawn initials ottawa blogger